Positively 3rd thread - how do you deal with this?

[PositivelyListening]

Hi Always, So happy to hear from you! How do you manage to inspire me and lift me up with just a few words? This helped me today:

Remember, it's the consistency of our actions that make a difference.

I think the blessing of being separated has been that I have been able to be extremely consistent with H. When I am "dealing" with something, H doesn't need to see it. But to pat myself on the back a little, when I have been forced to "deal with" something in front of H, my new behavior of becoming quiet (instead of getting angry) has worked REALLY well for me. I know H likes it better (of course!) but I like it better too. I have been surprised to find out that I am much more effective, and much happier, and that I am not suppressed. By managing my anger in reflection instead of outburst, there has been much improvement in our communication, even though it is infrequent and the situation is challenging. That is a big deal. So, thank you Michele. Because I used to think my anger was a healthy expression. And now I have found that it just creates a set back, and is pretty much a waste of time and energy which always requires "clean up" afterwards. My H, who is a really sensitive man, had every reason to be skeptical of this change, because he had been hurt by my anger and impatience many times. But I am committed to my changes, and I think my consistency in this regard will make the biggest difference of all.