Positively 3rd thread - how do you deal with this?

[soonergal]

There are lots of people in my life that do not understand this. I am paring down who I will talk to now. I probably should not have trusted so many - some of my friends that "know" have too much fear and not enough spirituality and trust to fathom what I am doing. I am tired of people making H wrong for where he is at, or what he is doing. H is learning something powerful and deep for his life. I have confidence he will emerge. He is a smart man and a good man. I am 100% certain H was not out to hurt me - he was not, and is not, a bad guy.

Hi PL,
I love this last post from you as it could have been my extact words!

I too do not watch as much TV, esp the shows that H & I used to watch. It seems that I can't sit still long enuf to watch much or that I can not sit in our home alone. I'm getting better but it's slow.

I have been in my job 18 years and my boss has been extremely understanding. He knows that I'm having personal problems, no details, and early in my sitch there were times that I would just start crying and had to leave my office. Or, I would need a long lunch or just take time to take a drive at odd times.

I see that I'm connecting more with long time friends via the phone. I know that alot of it was lonliness and they have been a huge support team for me. I don't plan on stopping this new practice when H returns as it is a great way to 'catch up' as you call it. Sometimes email can be so cold, if you know what I mean.

My peace came about a month ago when God spoke to me. I have never been a constant attender at church but have always believed in God. This sitch has brought me much closer to Him and for that I am grateful. I am no longer 'obsessed' about what H might or might not be doing. I still think about him and want him back but it doesn't consume me all day long like it used to.

Having supportive friends is critical during this time for us. I remember a few that were very negative about H and said I should hire a PI to take pics and to consult a L to protect myself. I said no, that it would just put a death sentence on my M. I did not need their negative thoughts. And you are right, not very many of them understand what we are doing and why. I do have 2 or 3 that do 'get' it and I'm stay in touch with them to boost my PMA.

I esp liked the last paragraph in your post, that's why I pasted it above in quotes. I truly feel the same way about my H too and I hope by being positive about him with our friends/family, that he will have an easier time with all when he does come home.

You are doing great, keep it up! If you would like, email me at [e-mail].
{{{hugs}}}
Soonergal