Hi PL....thanks for your post on my thread. My thoughts on "exposing or not" is not to do that. Take faith that the A will come to an end on it's own, and it should. Not by your hand. It was not started by you, and will only end on it's own. I have heard a few folks here say that when they tried the tough love method of exposing, etc, it only pushed the person to the OP faster. It made them hate the spouse...and if you're dealing with MLC, pushes them further in the tunnel.
You're trying to create a "crisis" to get them to snap out of the A by exposing. They have to snap out of it in their own, face that it's WRONG on their own. ANd they will. He knows perfectly well right now that you think it's wrong and that you're hurt by it. So that doesn't make a difference.
Sit still and you WILL get there. He is working himself out of the MLC. My H did the same. How many times I wanted to scream to the world what he was doing, while he had his cake and ate it too, had a great time at work as the hero. Well, recently, with no effort on my part, rumors have come out about his A, and he is totally humilated and crippled at work, everyone sees him for the sleazeball he was (that is the perception). He is angry, and tries to cover it up by saying that "well, I had asked you for a D and you didn't give it to me fast enough (OK, 2 weeks is enough time for a D??) and my favorite...we agreed to see other people since our M was so bad, which we never did...if we did, why lie about it, hide it....
Anyway....just hang tight. This is horrible b/c here you are, improving yourself, GAL, living as best you can, and there is this person you, for some insane reason, still love, and they are totally going south with everything. Living in total mayhem and dysfunction.
