I agree with Always. It will pass. He is not the man you married and is making decisions and judgements that in are in a total fog.
You are a strong person. If I was in your shoes...I don't think I could do what you are doing. I see a lot of support on this board, but I see strength most of all.
You have been open with your thoughts ex mexican food rest. guy...and that's a good thing. Keep being honest. That's the only ways others here can help.
You said you thought of calling the OW. I did TONS of research on "how to stop an affair"
One theory, which I am trying to stick to, is the no communication from the cheating spouse to the OW. It's working for me so far.
Another theory is to bring it to the light of day. Let the OW know. Let the co-workers know. Let the whole world know. Then the fantasy world is no longer a dirty secret.
I don't know which is the best solution. I am not advocating either one. But I can see your point about calling the OW.
Hang in there. Just like my wife...you are MORE than the H deserves right now.
