What I remember about my own situation was how weary I eventually got. Tired of always having to keep a PMA, GAL, be upbeat and cheery around him when I wanted to scream at him and pull his hair all out, weary of the waiting and wondering what was happening with H and his OW, how he was feeling at any particular time, if/when he was getting past her, if we'd ever be together again, when was it going to happen...blah,blah,blah.... Then I also was weary of feeling sad ALL the time and heavy and tired of trying all the time to fight those feelings and tired of people asking questions...geez....I also was weary of trying to decide every single day if I should go dark, stay dark, be in touch occasionally, let him contact me, how often should I call, how long should I wait if he didn't call, trying to guess every day what kind of mood he would be in IF I saw or talked to him that day, what was the best response...etc. etc. etc. What I think now is that I could NEVER do that again. What happened to me is I became stronger and more in touch with me and my needs and I realized I never have to put up with that crap again, no matter what happens. All I need is me.
Having said all that, you aren't there. But I just said all that because you are experiencing alot of it and I just want you to know I know how you feel. I wouldn't do a single thing about that text in German to OW. I wouldn't mention it or return it or anything; I'd just forget it and wipe it out. Too bad if she doesn't get it; who cares?
Hey, did your H ever put his wedding ring back on when he got back from Germany? I'm just curious...
And how can you "love" someone you've barely spent any time with, you've never lived with, and is married to someone else? It has MLC written all over it. I agree with you that she makes him feel strong and needed; men like that; but it's not love. Being a man of integrity, sooner or later it should occur to him that Mrs. Fabulous is sneaking around on her H and children to have an A with another married man.
It's true about the rats, isn't it? And men. And women. We like a challenge. That's why they tell you not to "tell all" right away when you're dating or give all because then they have nothing left to stimulate their interest or their curiousity, and you become no challenge at all and they get bored and next thing you know...
I'm feeling sulky and irritable tonight; can you tell? But I just wanted to check in. I feel for you and I want to take your H and bang his head against the wall until he wakes up. I'm not a violent person but I want him to wake up! Happy beaching! It's 100 degrees here lately every day. Blah.
