W keeps saying it is over. She has no feelings for me and is looking for someone else. I have to take this at face value and let her do what she wants, I cannot make her do or feel anything. Makes a bloke feel powerless, but in this case I am powerless over her. However I am not powerless over what I do and how I interact with her, the kids and her family and friends. I know she has suffered over the years and her actions are a result of the anger and resentments that have built up. It is her way of getting back at me and boy is it working a treat.
It is only the fact that I know this that makes me want to keep on the path to reconcilliation.
She is a good woman and a great mother and it is a real pity that I took her for granted for so many years. I have been (since bomb and starting DBing)and still will be treating her with respect however I have started setting boundaries and some of them have upset her. That is why I initiated the the R talk mentioned in my last post here. I had to let her know (remind her) I was still up for working things out if she so desired.
Am 48 tomorrow, never thought I'd be in this situation at this stage of my life. Might pop in at family home for an hour of so mainly for the kids sake. Have my Tuesday Mindfulness Meditation group to go to that night, as it is only a small group I don't want to let the other members down by not turning up. The mindfulness stuff is quite life changing and I cannot recommend it enough. It has really helped me handle the depression, the negative emotions, the feelings of rejection and bad self image etc that I had been getting whilst going through this. Look into it people.
FIL is 70 next Thursday and I have been asked round to join the family celebrations. Normally FIL's and my b.days are acknowledged on the same day. Time to see if my 180's with W's family has borne any fruit.
Am taking kids out to lunch on Saterday for a bday treat for me. Told W she is welcome too, if she wants to go. Doesn't worry me if she goes or not, actually will be cheaper if she doesn't go.
Good luck to all you standers/quiter/undecided out there.
'When no one is doing what you think is right, do it yourself'
'We need to let go of everthing that no longer serves us. How long must we carry the burden of the mistakes of our past'.
