Well went to the festival thing with W. Wasn't a bad day. Wanted to hold her hand and touch her and maby give her a peck on the cheek but managed not to. W talked about her meditating and said this week she was starting to be able to see things before they happened. How she had worked out that she had to do what she was doing and she was doing it for herself and some people might call it selfish. Well I see it as selfish but I kept that to myself. Just validated what she said and turned conversation around to other matters as best as I could. Told her about me nearly getting evicted again and she advised me to get somewhere else to live. I wanted to say I have a house and you and the kids live there mabybe I should move in there but didn't. Had an offer to stay at the family home tonight (sleep on couch) W said she didn't care if I did or not. Wanted to say well if you don't care if I stay or not I may as well move back in. W said are you staying here or going home. I replied don't call the place where I'm staying home. I decided to not stay the night as I end up feeling worse when I do stay there. Cried on the way home, first time this week. I get the car and the kids tomorrow while the W goes to see her new bf. It will be good to have the kids but I hate it when W goes to see her "friend". Nothing I can do about it though. I suppose the "date" went pretty well overall, no major R talk, no me saying lets get back together (cheesless tunnel) only backslide me mentioning my shi&&y living arrangements. W said she had a good time and I said we must do it again sometime. I guess it is a small step one of many that I must take on this journey.
