Fathers day next Sunday. Will be having the children round Saterday night so they can make me breakfast in bed for f.day. Kids wanted me to have a sleep over at the family home that night but I declined. I really feel like I'm an intruder in my own home lately. Every time I leave after a visit I feel down in the dumps.
Will have to sort out some sort of access agreement with W so kids can stay with me more often.
This detaching and letting go of W really sucks, but I'm getting to a point where I do not want to see or talk to W now. She seems to be avoiding me like the plague whenever I go round to see kids. Last Saterday I visited and W took off to visit friends within 5 min. of me arriving.
This Sunday there is a bbq at inlaws for all of the extended family. Told D13 I didn't want to go and her and other children could go somewhere with me instead. D was most upset and phoned W bawling. Really wish I had handled my emotions better and hadn't said I didnt want to go so she hadnt needed to phone W about it, but it's done now. Decided I will go and make the most of it, have to act as if I'm fine having a great time with my new single status. Should I take my new girlfriend? ( thats a joke folks )
Will try to show W and her rellies that I'm getting on fine with my life, plenty of PMA and things are going really well for me. I should be shoo-in for an Oscar if I can pull it off.
Good luck to all fighting the good fight.
Paul.
IF YOU SEE HER SAY HELLO - BOB DYLAN
If you see her, say hello, she might be in Tangier She left here last early spring, is livin' there, I hear Say for me that I'm all right though things get kind of slow She might think that I've forgotten her, don't tell her it isn't so.
We had a falling-out, like lovers often will And to think of how she left that night, it still brings me a chill And though our separation, it pierced me to the heart She still lives inside of me, we've never been apart.
If you get close to her, kiss her once for me I always have respected her for busting out and gettin' free Oh, whatever makes her happy, I won't stand in the way Though the bitter taste still lingers on from the night I tried to make her stay.
I see a lot of people as I make the rounds And I hear her name here and there as I go from town to town And I've never gotten used to it, I've just learned to turn it off Either 'm gettiI'm too sensitive or else In' soft.
Sundown, yellow moon, I replay the past I know every scene by heart, they all went by so fast If she's passin' back this way, I'm not that hard to find Tell her she can look me up if she's got the time.
