Hi all. I never kept up with my own thread b/c frankly, I'm paranoid that the wrong person might read it and I do have secrets that I will never reveal and hopefully recover from.

Anyway, to my question. I am the HD and my husband is the LD in this R. He doesn't often compliment my body and I have always had a low self-esteem of my body, looks, etc. Now into my 30's I've come to accept that I am not now and will never look like a supermodel and I'm okay with that. I clean up pretty good I lost a bit of weight over the last 2 years and try to eat right and work out and I look decent. MUCH of the time I feel fat and unattractive, SOME of the time I feel beautiful and sexy and like a MILF! So tonight I started doing a new exercise routine and showed my husband and said "if I keep this up, I'm going to be really fckable!!!" and as always he just shifted his attention, which leaves me feeling so undesireable and almost hopeless I posted a picture of myself to a group that I belong to tonight and one of the women said "is that you??? if so, WOW!!" and I was so flattered and thought to myself "why couldn't he say something like that to me? why can't he validate me?"

The other night we went out to dinner with another couple and they both complimented me. Telling me how I had no hips anynmore (yeah, right), etc.

I realize that *I* am responsible for the way I feel about myself, but still, it would be so nice to be complimented and desired by him. I'm still hoping, but not really seeing it happen anytime soon.

Just rambling late on a Friday night.