Feeling my way around in the darkness

[NNP1965]

Hi NNP, well it's probably too late tonight for anything I will say to be of any use. But maybe tomorrow it will be useful Anyway, I am thinking of Michele and all this Solution Oriented stuff we are up to. It is never about talking. It is about behavior. So don't bother talking. You can think ML, but don't talk about it, act it out! What would it look like for you - what would you wear, what's the lighting like, the music. New sheets? Sleeping with your head at the foot and your foot at the head? Rosepetals, massage oil? Remember when you WERE ML - what was that like? Try recreating the atmosphere and the mood of when everything was great between you. And then have no expectations. Just keep creating the action steps that are aligned with what you want. No expectations = no disappointments. Think of it like a game or a movie - you don't know what's going to happen next, but it's fun finding out Don't forget to bring fun and play with you Let us know what happens

PL, thank you for your input. I do appreciate it. It is just that I have been doing these things for years. Really I have. I ML to him even though he is having sex with me. I have gone to the stores (the raunchy ones and VS). I have tried role playing and fantasy sharing… re-doing the bedroom… lighting candles… wearing the teddies… jumping him when he is not expecting it… etc… etc… etc…

I am quickly running out of steam, as none of these things seem to make any difference. No matter what I do he seems to prefer the porn. I guess someday, I may have to face the fact that this is what (at least) one of our problems is really about.