well, I am probably not the right one to be giving advice on this, because I have not had any action in a long long time being that my sitch has headed a different direction. But I have some questions. How is he when you initiate? Is he interested and responsive? Because it could be that he feels guilty and undeserving. I think a lot of us have that going on with our spouses. You must be patient and loving, and flirty, and win them over.

Do remember that the porn (and in my case even an OW) is not the real issue. Don't give it any power or focus at all. The issue is the R between the two of you. And who you are being is something you have control over. Have you ever talked about your sex life, what you like and don't like? Has he told you what turns him on, and have you told him? I am just wondering where you are in terms or intimacy and communication. One thing I know though, getting into a waiting game or a competition (I'm not gonna do this until you do ...) will not get you what you truly want. Also, when my sex life with my H was happening in a great way, there was a lot of humor and play present. When it's the same old, same old, it gets boring. Men are so visual too. How are you caring for yourself? Focusing on making yourself the best and most attractive you can be is where to put the energy. When was the last time you asked H to give you an all over body massage with oil? Or decorated the room with candles? Or hopped in the shower with him and soaped him all over. Or whispered in his ear, I really like it when... Just some thoughts.

But yes, from everything I have read, and now from my personal experience, having contact and being intimate is FAR BETTER for your sitch than not, if you want to preserve your M. So hang in there, get creative and playful , and keep us posted

The snuggling is VERY good, BTW. In his subconscious sleep state, H wants you close. You see? Focus on the positives, what IS working, and do more of that

PositivelyListening
**************************************
When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller