Feeling my way around in the darkness

[NNP1965]

That is exactly why I do not want to lie. I would not want him to lie to me. I could just say I will be out, but I would not be happy if he just told me "I will be out".

Both of those things get me furthur from where I want to be. That being a honest, healthy marriage. I am just not sure how much the end justifies the means, I guess. I know I HAVE to do this for myself to get healthy and be truthful, but I don't want to get there by lying about it.

So far I have been able to make my counseling appts at time that I would not be home anyway so I have never had to say anything.

I have been thinking about trying to get up the courage to say that I need to go for my past.

Opti, JM, PL... thank you so much for your input. It was exactly what I needed this morning. Just to get up and see some responses.

Today is the day that the boys and I leave. We'll be home on Monday. So H is foot loose and fancy free until then. I am really missing the days when I had blind trust in him and it would ever even cross my mind about him doing something that would hurt me.