I figured you had decided not to I just wanted to be sure. About the club, I'm not a guy so probably would see things different than your H. But is there a compromise you could make? If you have developped some trust in him already, and the club is that important to him so he can do guys stuff, could you ask him to split up his weekends, some at the club, some with you? Could he go to the required events, but maybe not so many of the non-required ones and make the choice to spend his time with you instead? Coming from a M where my H is (oops I meant gone) two thirds of the time, I know from experience that the time apart is definitely impacting the healing in our M simply for lack of time.
