I just thought I would put in my two cents, because it's what my H wishes I would have done. You are rationalizing your feelings toward the OM, just as he did with the OW. If you take the reason out of the picture, you are putting yourself in the same dangerous spot as he did, the only difference being that he went through with it. What my H said to me, was that as his W, when I found that I was developing feelings for OM I should have come to him immediately and told him about it. Have you tried doing that? Then you will have a wake up call in time, much earlier than I did, and did I ever need it. It was too late for me though, I had already made a big mistake. It is the same, you are looking outside your marriage to fix your marriage. I'm glad that your H pulled up his socks and took you to a B&B, because that is a step in the direction you need. Please don't pursue the OM. Instead sit down with you H tonight and tell him that you have had these thoughts about someone else. It's all about ego, I know I was feeling pretty crappy in my M, and wait a minute, there was this guy that also smiled lots at me, could do no wrong and made me feel important. It's all superficial though. Just my thoughts, I don't want to see you make the same horrible mistake your H made and I made.
