First I can tell you that you will never heal if you keep looking BACK....the PA is over....now what are you going to do... Your H could be racked with guilt but too proud to admit it to you....betcha didn't think of that one....is it a good thing, I don't think so....but that is how it is...
You can change the image of your H....you have to try hard...you have to think ahead...imagine what you want and then give that to him....you need to talk to him...but not about his A....no good will come from rehashing that...
You need to find one thing that he does that is positive...tell him you appreciate that....then look for something else....compliment him....even if it to say "you smell nice"....I can tell you these things will go a long way to changing YOU and HIM...
You need to stop all the negative thinking....I know it isn't easy....how do you think I felt after being with my H from the age 15 to 42 and then having him leave me and tell me he hadn't loved me for years...10 years (that magic number)....well there I sat....my son was 9 years old....did that mean he wasn't conceived in love??? how devestated I was....
If you dont' want a divorce you need to start acting like you like him....plan a nice dinner or evening out...the real work is when they come home...to make things better then they were before....not to let things be the same...and sometimes it has to be us to do this because obviously they don't know how or they wouldn't have had an A to begin with...
Practice talking....everyday I ask my H when he come home "so how was your day"...and then I shut up and listen...I try to show how I appreciate his being here...
Just tonight I arranged for us to go out for a little couple time....as we were standing on the beach I looked at him and said "I am glad your here"....He said "I am glad to be here"....then I asked "are you liking me more?"...to which he answered "Yes, I am"...I said good because one day I want to be standing on a beach in Bermuda or the Carribean and have you say "I love you".... He smiled...and said "me too"
This is such a change from February where he wasn't even sure he could ever ever live with me again....he wasn't even sure he could live in the same town with me again... so how did this happen???....by me taking the little steps to show him how much I wanted to love him...to show him respect even though I wasn't sure he deserved....men can be like kids sometimes....they will live up to the expectations....if you view him as a loser, he will be a loser....if you view him as a winner, he will be a winner....or at least try...
Let me know what I can do to help you...help your H
