Jade. I TOTALY understand what you're going through and feeling. that anger comes in waves for me.
I had a similiar sitch not too long ago with a woman I met through work. I was incedibly flatered. I felt like a kid talking to her, it was such a rush. I thought it was my chance to get some much needed relief from all the old crap i've been through in the last year. I happens when you've spent so long getting kicked in the nuts daily, made to feel less than normal, then someone else treats you like a king (or queen in your case).
I thought about it long and hard ( no pun intended ) and while it felt great, I had to get out of that situation before I did the deed. I asked myself what would I feel like afterward. would it take away the pain I went through in the last year? no. would it make anything in my life better? no. see, my wife is aand had been doing backflips to make up for last summer. I gotta give her props because leaving sure as hell would have been easier for her that making all the amends she has been making. also, I think it would have kept the "beast" alive. the beast being "the affair and all the goodies that go with it" I want it to die. i'm sooo done with thiking about it.
so, take it for what it was/is. its an ego boost that I sure needed and maybe the same for you.
