last night when I got home, I got more info...more than I want, actually. I actually went home about 1/2 hour later than H expected, making an effort to not "jump into it" over enthusiastically as I have before when there was a "breakup"...when he commented, I just said "I didnt think I'd ever get finished at work". He went up to bed right at 10, I didnt rush up then either, I waited about an hour. When I went up, he complained that he'd been waiting for me to get there so I could snuggle up to him so he could go to sleep. THEN, instead of going to sleep, he started talking. about the "re-start" of his soap opera mess. lets see, he met her for coffee somewhere at mcdonalds in January...she commented "so what are we doing, I don't want to get back into the A"...started in on that stuff, and he took his coffee and walked out. He called her on his b-day, 3/4, and was hurt that she claimed to not remember it was....in April, she showed up at his out-of-town office asking him to go to lunch...on a day when the female co-worker who hated her and kept H on semi-straight and narrow was gone-As "friends", he thought "ok" and went....they talked about not trusting each other....and of course it was down hill from there. he said "you're right, I can't be friends with her"...duh.
said he prayed the whole time he went for a walk wednesday night, that God would show him the way to go. That he was thinking how much he loves the walking route and the butterflies and birds, how he always feels so peaceful thre, and how if he went with her he would never walk there again; how neat his own kids are (duh)and how he loves his family and life...and then he asked God to show him "a way out"----then her ranting email showed up Thursday morning (as luck would have it, I had sent him a teasing and flirty one when I first got to work), and his thought was "well here it is"...evidently though they fought over email all day. Said her former live-in had lived with her for a year, and that made it easier to get away, it had taken him so long because he wasnt with her so much. How he drives by houses on the way to work of guys he knows she's been with and thinks to himself "how many is this in about a 2 block area in how few years, and how many more are there I don't know about, and what's wrong with this picture D-boy (his term for himself)." He did say that I've predicted exactly what she would do from my experiences in Jr. Hi and that it infuriated her. haha. Said she always makes demands for her daughter...not sure what that means....I'm thinking, from things he's said before, that she guilts him with how badly she needs a man in her life....What about our own S???? I did tell him I always thought it was sad that S gets the short end of the stick because of the wh--e, and that he would have gotten an even shorter one if H had ended up with her, she would have seen to it with no twinge of scruples, and H agreed.
He said over and over he is done, he doesnt want to be in her soap opera (he had a dream about this a week ago...that he was in some weird soap opera....and kept saying but I don't want to be in a soap opera"...and somehow "guiding light" kept flashing across a screen in his dream) I told him maybe his dream had been a message...he agreed maybe his subconcious was guiding him. He said she was making him mean and sick again. He doesnt want that, that he believes she's "been nice now, because she doesnt have me....it would be hell if I was there because she would have me, and I'd have no way out"....said how he sees that she cuts him off from other friends and family (yep, but I could have never told him) SWEARS he is done, and is unemotional about it THIS time, which he has never been before. I have told him IT MUST BE, I can't go on like this, it is too harmful to me and to S...says he knows that and is sorry, that he's been such a "stupid old fool".....
So, we shall see. I am watching, and waiting, and I am still focused on doing what I need to do to be ready to go...If I stay focused on that, I figure in a year at most I can be "set"....maybe 6 months.
