Quote: when I left I drove by the cutest little house for sale about 4 blocks from where she lives. I swear, I was overcome with wishing I could just buy that house and go there and start over on my own. just do what I want without worrying about his sorry @ss.
Well, I know that's not possible right this minute, but not a bad financial goal to set, eh? So right now that you're fired up about getting things together, why not focus on how to get where you want to be - not that it's necessarily without h, but that your life would feel much better if you were in a financial place where you knew you COULD walk out and buy that little house if you wanted to?
Sooo...what would that take? - Have you enlisted H in the financial plan to get out of debt yet? This may be necessary to ensure he isn't blowing money on oW. Paying bills and budgeting together may keep everything too open for him to get away with spending on her.
- Refinancing the debt to a lower interest rate?
- Fixing up the house so that it would sell for more money if you had to sell it?
- Asking for a raise at work?
- Looking for another job that pays better? (Think - if you DID finally get sick of H and OW, wouldn't it be nice to work somewhere else where you didn't have to see them all the time?).
- Looking for part-time business or work to supplement your income?
As for H right now - I hear you on the QT dilemma. Maybe a compromise - keep doing your own thing, but when you ARE with him, practice the "no-multitasking, full attention, sit next to him" approach. And keep the email contact going.
