Quote: Ok, I am decidedly out of the loop, and Frank/Amy/others are doing a great job with you.
Yes, they are, but NO you are not decidedly out of my loop. PLEASE!
Quote: I can't help but get a feeling from the "convo" part of your last post. I may be way off from the recent rash of "take a stand" posting you have been doing but WTH, that's never stopped me before.
Quote: My response was, when you get out of the Jr. High, fantasyland make believe stage.
This sounds to me VERY judgmental. Sure, it's true, but there has to have been a better way to say the same thing. I suspect that this convo just kinda "gushed" from you so I am not faulting you so much as pointing out things ala "Monday morning quarterback". I am just wondering how hard it may be for you to take a stand without being condescending towards her, no matter how much she deserves it. Realize that ALL our wives/husbands DESERVE to be cussed at, verbally torn apart, emotionally ripped open, but we don't do that because we know how it feels and don't really want to be the instrument of someone else's pain.
Yes, you are absolutely correct. This was the FIRST time I really let her have it during my sitch and no I didn't much care how it came out. I was flaming hot pissed and foaming at the mouth. I made my point perfectly clear to her. This was about the needs and well-being of our children and I am their d*mn father. I do agree with you, though, certainly PLENTY of softer, more loving ways were available to me at this time but I was neither feeling soft nor loving. I was feeling protective of our children. I know that doesn't make my tactic right.
Quote:
Quote: When you figure out if you two are for real or playing house because I don't want our children playing house in you make believe world.
Again, maybe next time a less "holier-than-thou" way of stating this may work better.
Not so much a holier-than-thou stance as a "we already agreed to something different and YOU made a unilateral decision for OUR children" stance. Again, I was livid and I finally reached a point where I felt it was really time to let my true feelings out, unguarded. Feeling the need to be protective of my children helped facilitate that venom spewing from me.
Quote: HH, the REAL bottom line here is that you seem to be doing MUCH better with yourself and I don't know if it much matters how you are doing with her right now. You are getting your $hit together and that's great. I suppose my perspective is shaped a lot by some of my recent reading and lots of talk about compassion and empathy.
I AM doing much better, but I am still incredibly hurt and sad in my sitch. I also NEVER forget my contributions to the deterioration of our M including my F-ing A. I know she is hurting and I know she is angry, and THAT'S why she gets as much leeway treating me so poorly so often, but even I have my limits on how much sh*t I can take on before I blow. Sucks, but it's true.
Quote: Keep working towards those PMA goals and as always, I wish you luck.
I will keep pumping up and protecting my PMA, which is my life line in this trying journey. Thank you for wishing me good luck. I need it more now than ever, but I'll rely more on hard work on me. Thanks again.
