Quote: My point was that IF she continues this behavior then, well, then there will be some tough decisions for HH because while many of us have a usually "ok" WAS that is an a-hole because of an affair/MLC/whatever, HH's wife was (and of course we only have HIS side of the story) the a-hole in the R all along.
She behaved like a selfish A-hole in a lot of ways. Problem is I not only tolerated it, I nurtured her mistreatment of me. Everyonw saw how I doted on my W and our children, only to be mistreated and rebuffed regularly.
Quote: I think HH is starting to realize that putting up with a-hole behavior should be the exception NOT the rule in his marriage. I, like him, fear she may not change.
Yes, I can tolerate A-hole behavior as an exception, not as a regular mode of behavior or mistreatment of me. And yes, I do fear that she will NOT change. So...I am taking the proactive approach of praying regularly for OUR individual healing and R changing.
Quote: He claims she's been looking for a "get out of marriage card" from day... well... at least day 2 and now is acting like she's gotten it via his affair.
THAT is my feeling. BTW, in looking for my mediator docs, I came across my printouts of her e-mails (yes, I was snooping in the VERY beginning ) to her BF from 10 years ago in which she claimed to HATE it that my blood pumps thru the veins of our children. Mind you, these e-mails were going on in the DAYS after my F-up came to light. DAYS!! THAT is also why I believe that she was looking for a way out of our M. And this is after a M full of her D talk/threats. After that attempted R fizzled, she hooks up with current OM and starts talking about M with her 2nd OM in less that two months of being separated from her current H, me. Yes, M talk with at least two separate OM while she is still M to me and those are only the ones I know of. She is truly mixed up. hurt, angry, and looking to save face. And the uphill battle grows ever steeper and more difficult.
Quote: This has always been a tough sitch because of those things, and unfortunately for HH, I think it may continue to be such for awhile.
Most likely. Her pride will take us on a long arduous journey. What my W fails to realize is that my strength, stamina, commitment, peseverence, and yes, pride will outlast her pride. I KNOW I am on the right side of the right battle and my pride will not allow me to cede or fail. No white flags! I only need to continue GAL and to change my tactics in handling my interaction with W.
Quote: Sorry HH, I think you are doing GREAT. I just wish your W would follow suit.
No need to be sorry. I only wish I felt like I am doing great. The lack of positive movement in my sitch is discouraging/dishearenting, but great battles lead to wondrous celebrations in victory.
Quote: God grant me the courage not to give up on what I think is right even though I think it is hopeless. Amen
AMEN!
Quote: COURAGE-Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--NOTabsence of fear.- MARK TWAIN
I have the courage to keep on keepin' on. I also have the courage to change "HOW" I am fighting the good fight so that I will win!
