Quote: I will focus on caring for our children, but W is in the mode to make that difficult with her behavior e=when tour children are in her care and W won't share with me what is causing an upset in our children's lives and W tells me that she can't remember when I question her about an upset.
I feel like I am swimming upstream in dealing with my W and the current is growing stronger against me.
HH,
Your W is suffering from a severe case of A-HOLE.
Yes, sir, she is. I understand where this is coming from though. She is hurt, angry, feels embarassed and betrayed and is also feeling the need to "save face" because all of the "stuff" she has heaped upon me to friends and acquaintances in the wake of my mistake. I am sure she does not want to look weak or bad after all of that. But, as my MIL has told me, I made a mistake and have worked very hard to atone for my A and to make amends to my W. My MIL says I have paid enough and I need to stand up for myself and stop being my W's doormat and/or whipping post. I agree with my MIL, although at this point I don't agree with a lot that MIL has to say, at this point.
Quote: Regarding OM at her house, many people I have seen who are sep / divorced have an order forbidding ADULT NON FAMILY MEMBERS from staying overnite at the house where the KIDS are.
Just a thought.
We are still short of reaching the court order point. I was served with papers from the mediator by my wife in mid-June. I still have not signed the papers and returned them to the mediator. In the paperwork, the documents said I had 20 days to return them to the mediator.
On or about the 20 day from the date of the documents, I called the mediators office and asked about the 20 day deadline and was informed by the secretary who drafted the docs that she put he 20 day deadline to encourage people to return their docs to move the "process" along, but that the 20 day deadline meant nothing.
In mid-July, my W asked me about the docs, and I told her that I had not returned them, but I would. She then sent an e-mail to our mediator that read as follows:
Quote: H just informed me that he has not signed his portion of the divorce papers. What happens becuase of that? Is the filing date still the same? I have also had a title company drawn up an inter-spousal deed for him to sign and I am not sure he is going to sign it at this point. What are my options here? Also, to change my name back to my maiden name, can I just have that done now? I also wanted to set up our final meeting with you so that we could get everything settled and in writing about our children and spousal support. Please advise. Thank you. (cut and pasted body of my cc copy of her e-mail)
I have not heard anything back, but since he is OUR mediator I am not sure if she has heard anything, and I am not in the mood to ask her. I believe since he is working for both of us, dealing with only one of us would be unethical.
BTW, I have never told W that I will not quitclaim the house to her. I also find it interesting/disturbing that she already wants her maiden name back. It has been my experience that most woment who have children are NOT in a huge hurry to change their last name and have a different last name from their children, unless they ARE getting re-M shortly. Who knows what's on her mind except anger for me? I suppose this can all be chalked up to her present state of mind.
