Quote: I have become crystal clear that I cannot make her discoveries for her. I cannot have epiphanies for her. I cannot work on her issues for her. I can only work on me and show her my powerful example of changing me with effort, diligence and determination.
Half the battle is coming to that realization. You're already there.
Thank you, Frank. I don't feel like I am already anywhere except lost and embroiled in a marital sh*tstorm.
This morning I went to drop off my children at the babysitter's house which is across from my W's house and who's car do I see sitting out front and my W is NOT there. She's already at work and leaves OM there. And so I detach further, while still loving her from an even further distance. Makes me so sad. But, I have lots of ME work to do to keep me busy and I have two beautiful, perfect, innocent children to focus on, care for and love.
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Quote: I have so far to go in practicing DB/DR guidelines. I often feel like I have screwed up most of my M being on autopilot and I struggle to take back control rather than doing my usual more of the same sh*t.
Yeah, remember that 'taking back control' doesn't men to become 'controlling'. It means to reclaim what control over YOU that you have given up.
Sir, yes sir! I understand. I do not need to react to her words or actions. I need to weigh what happens and respond appropriately (or don't respond at all). I feel that she is lost and I am only working to regain the control that I gave up to her in our M. That control over me is MINE and I intend to finish taking it back and keeping it for myself.
You're doing great!
Thank you for saying so. I wish I felt like I was.
