Quote: NO, no, no. I didn't mean for you to do that. Sometimes I think my "eloquent"-ness would be better replaced by some direct "smack", i.e. grow a pair...
I have never been accused of having eloquent-ness, just being long-winded or verbose. [quoteIn reality HE is the one going all alpha-male on her (lol) but actually, now that you bring it up, I think that is also a problem. Some days, minutes, hours, HH, you ARE the alpha male you talk to frank about and other times, you are a capa-male. I think building up some consistency is key.
From our past MC regarding dealing with our D5. When trying to change the behavior of your child you don't need to discipline the child, you need to discipline yourelves. Consistency is the key. Knowing what action will get what response on a consistent basis WILL get the desired behavioral change results you desire. I don't want to insult anyone, but I am thinking that same consistency (NOT discipline, of course) will be the key to perhaps changing my sitch.
Quote: I don't think you can NEVER do anything for her, just establish some kind of consistency to when you will say no, i.e. when you are otherwise obligated to be somewhere or do something else, etc.
THIS sounds much more like me and something I will maintain.
Quote: The point is not to be an a-hole, it's to be assertive of your own life and not to feel guilty for that.
I have been working so hard to not show bitterness about her choices and path right now. Sometimes is still oozes out though, d*mnit. Being gently assertive has proven most effective with my W and I have found that acting this was does not produce guilt for me. My MIL told me a long time ago that making soft hints with my W will often result in her taking on an idea as her own and embracing it.
I too still have a LOT to learn, about humility, patience, respect, boundaries and love. I working on all of it every day though.
