Oh God Rob, from what you wrote, and in starting with "GH is absolutely correct..." you somehow inferred that I, ME, GH, the one who hates the phrase "grow a pair" actually suggested that HH do so... damn, I'm slipping.
HH, I really do hate that phrase. I don't blame Rob for using it, but I believe your "pair" is probably fine. I know he said you only need to grow them, or rather, display the pot they're growing in to your W now and then, but the bottom line is that I believe you to have a pair, and know how to use them, you just don't when it comes to her, for good reason; she's convinced you that the only value you have is what you do for her. While I think that sucks, the dynamic is there in my R too and slowly I am trying to change that. In my sitch, I have the benefit of asking my W to do for me in reciprocation instead of having to just quit doing for her altogether.
HH, you have a pair, of that I am sure, just recognize that your life is now yours, something your W will have to come to understand sooner (better) or later (worse).
