Maybe if he hears it from someone other than me, Frank or Grasshopper it will start to sink in.
Sadly, it seems my wheel spinning has pissed you off. Whether it looks like it or not, I am making progress with your help. I do understand your disappointment and frustration with me though. I have the same feelings about my struggle to change my behavior patterns, and thus my sitch.
Quote: HH, I have been unable to post to you since first thing this morning when I realized you DID GO GET her dry cleaning .
That was simply IT for me.
It makes me sad, that THAT was the only portion of that LONG post that stuck with you, sh*tty as that was.
Quote: I just can't believe you did that after all the name calling and cussing, the lie about feeling bad and then having secret dinner plans....oh the list just goes on and on...
In re-reading my post, I see where I led you to believe that I got the drycleaning after my W's tirade and after I found out about her dinner plans. My post mislead you into believing that. I got the drycleaning before the tirade and before I found out about the dinner plans and the lie about feeling so awful that she just wanted to go straight to bed. Now, regardless of when I picked up the drycleaning, that was another in a long list of F-ups on my part. I am seeing my errors and where I need to make changes. Yes, I am seeing my mistakes after the fact, but I AM seeing them nonetheless. I have NO hope of changing what needs to be changed in me unless I SEE it first. BTW, the list does go on and on wtih my W. I understand that that is another part of my sitch that I need to stop allowing through my weak and aimless behavior.
Quote: You need to cut off the blood supply to this tumor formerly known as your wife.
An appropriate analogy. I do need to do this and I have begun the process of bleeding the tumor dry. Again, i AM getting there. Maybe not as fast as those who care about me would like (and advise), but I am making progress even if my posts don't reflect all of the progress. My head is becoming more clear each day. I am struggling with all of this because I want, so much, to achieve redemption, restoration, and reconciliation. I love my W very much. I have come to understand during all of this though, that I want her, I don't need her. That realization doesn't make it all hurt any less.
I do understand your disappointment and frustration with me though. I have the same feelings about my struggle to change my behavior patterns, and thus my sitch.
.
