Chicago - marriages are not based on being "in love", they are based on loving.
Being in love is a temporary eupharia that only lasts a short time (2 years, tops). To love someone is to accept their faults and choose to stay. To be in love is to ignore their faults and is therefore unsustainable.
Whatever the WAS says, even if it's I don't love you anymore - it can change. Consider that (generally speaking), they did love us, they did say they would spend their lives with us....so clearly they CAN CHANGE THEIR MINDS. We just have to make sure we make it as easy as we can for them to change their minds again .
I agree with the X, Y, Z theory. Of all the divorced couples I have spoken to or heard about - many of those suggest that the WAS realized they had screwed up but by the time they did, the LBS was done and was unwilling to take them back. The question is, will you still be willing?
Yes, there are those that are done and never look back but I suspect that is more common when kids are not involved, or the communciations simply cease after S.
I hold out hope for all of us here b/c we are of the minority who are willing to look at ourselved as contributors to the failed R. We are willing to be introspective, to work on ourselves, and to be receptive to WAS changing their minds.
If nothing else, we will walk away knowing we did everything we could - that we left no stone unturned - and that we became better people in the process.
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