EDs are a form of OCD. You might consider contacting UCLA's (University of California, Los Angeles) OCD and anxiety department to see if they have any information on this. Other universities (perhaps something local to you) may have information as well. I have a child with OCD and I had mild anorexia as a teenager. Also, a lot of OCDers have food issues. A good treatment for EDs may be Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, but I'm not sure how effective it is for EDs since I haven't researched that. (CBT is extremely effective for OCD, but not as helpful for Tourettes... my guess is it could be effective for EDs...).
It definitely sounds to me like your wife is in MLC. I have a couple of friends going through this right now and all of them are like spoiled 16-year-olds (and getting tattoos or piercings!!!!), also their kids are missing much needed attention. I think this is probably really common for MLC.
From all I've read and people I've spoken with locally who have gone through this, the only thing you can do with people in MLC is "give them a lot of rope." It's something they have to work through on their own. I don't think there's a whole lot you can do to change things. Also, sadly, you may not be able to do much about the ED as well. Unfortunately, the person with the ED has to want to help themselves (Therapy like CBT only works if the person is a willing participant). I'm guessing that all you can do is have her hospitalized if she becomes too thin and ill.
Focus on yourself and your childen. Particularly the kids. I wish I had more helpful advice. Just try to stay positive. Perhaps being a positive role model may eventually have impact.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
