Next, please know that people here aren't attacking you. Like John_S and others have said, none of us have the whole story, we are here your YOU and to help. Sometimes, when we put a post out there, we all rally around with some tough love of our own to keep each other going. You are a VERY stand up guy for being here and trying to save you M. Don't forget that and don't be hard on yourself if it just won't make it. Funny enough, some other DB'er and I have lots of off-BB discussions via e-mail and we constantly strike each other in the head with hockey sticks - and we have learned a lot from it. Hang in there.
All that said, and from the snipets I have read, to me you are getting to a fork in the road. In the end, only you can decide what is going to be best. It might be that you have to save yourself and your daughter FIRST and make a break. Fighting to save it all with a higher potential for failure might be less attractive from assuredly saving you and your D.
Let me reach for a minute here and ask if there was alcohol abuse in your W's family past? From what I have read (and having an ACOA for a WAW), I see a pattern. Constantly "excusing" bad behaviour in your step son, then running for cover - not wanting to purposely repeat the past, but sure as hell going to.
You have a very complex situation on your hands that I could never do justice by giving advice so I feel for you tremedously. What got me though (and ultimately nearly reconciled with my W) was the unyielding control over MY life. That drove me day in and day out.
You have that control - we are all pulling for you - no matter what choice you make.
Hope that helps.
Sven
Never sacrifice the great for the good. Sometimes the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.
