I understand what you are saying. But I can NOT make my W do things. I can NOT control her. That's the most important thing I learned here.
I have NO legal right to do anything. I didn't adopt him. But I tried. Believe me. An example. Once about 4 years ago I gave him a time out. He was supposed to be staying in his room and think about what he had done. W comes home, disagrees w/me, apologized and sent him off to his friends. I told her then that if she allows him everything NOW she won't be able to control him when he is 16. Now is not quite 16 and now she agrees. She send him to his room yesterday, he laughed at her and left.
Another example. When he kicked in our front door (MY house, but I had moved out at that time) and I came home w/D5 and she was shocked about that I wanted him to leave the house. We had an argument, he tried to take medication, I didn't hit him but 'guided' him out of the house. I didn't want him in this abgry state to be around D5. Next thing that happened was W called police, they picked him up. When he was back home I was NOT allowed to come back to MY house. His T suggested that and W happily complied. And then I got a call from child protective services and had to defend myself.
So how do I put my foot down? W will just throw me out again.
I'm getting upset as being blamed. Especially by you guys who don't know the past.
