Quote: I certainly could. When we were separated she saw that she can't live w/o my financial support here in CA. She would need to move out of state and was actually pretty close.
You may recall that in my case, W was pretty well convinced she was going to live in poverty, while the girls lived with ME in a decent house. And she wouldn't get to see them every day either since it would be 50-50 custody. She didn't 'stay' because of the 'money' though, she stayed because she saw that there were a lot of good reasons to stay, and no good reasons to go.
Quote: That's my problem. If I leave her it almost certainly means for me leaving my D5 as well. And my W can get a job almost everywhere, in particular in places with low cost of living. But my profession lets me make a decent amount of money but there are only so many places where I could find a job. So in the end we would probably ending up living far apart.
Make sure YOU don't move out again no matter what. SHE has to make the decisions. And this idea of an 'open marriage' is crap. She can't expect you OR OM to live in limbo while she stays stupid.
I didn't say she should 'leave' to live with OM, I was suggesting you 'make' her go for a visit. Since you said there is no chance for physical interaction, and it's an EA, when she sees the shape OM is in it should be a reality check. Remember, he is still a fantasy person to her.
