Hey EM, i was looking for you, wondering how you were doing. I know sometimes writing about the stuff that happens to us makes it all the more alive and I also end up w/my heart beating faster. Sounds like she is using you as an emotional blanket, much like my H did w/me when he was loosing his mind in between the on-off R with OP. He'd come to me for confort, for reasurance, then runned off again w/OP when feeling better (of course at the time I didn't know it)
This is me, but had i know he was doing this, having the OP while using me I'd told him to take a hike, to choose. Sounds like she is cake eating, I might be wrong, but I'm totally in your shoes about the anger ones feel about the A.
She is having the best of both worlds. I'm afraid to tell you what to do, but if she still is hanging onto OP she shouldn't be messing around w/you. I know you yearn to have her, that your body will ache if you don't ML w/her. But she needs to know she can't use you, that she can't have it both ways. You decide how, but it sounds like she is jerking you around.
Granted, her mind is still scrambled 'cause of MLC. But enough is enough, if you put your foot down she might actually come down to earth and shape up... or not. Either way you will have made a decision to free yourself and won't stay stuck in this sand trap. I hurt for your and I pray that you know and how to put a stop to the madness, at least on your end.
Im also sickening myself thinking of the A, can't imagen thinking about a current A. Do you think you could sleep at least in a different room for now?
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
