I calmed down, got drunk after the incident, and went to friends last night. I'm ok again.
But I don't think W is ok. She is completely in MLC replay mode. The ongoing A is just one thing. She doesn't consider herself as being married. And she is online again all the time. Currently I'm afraid there is a chance of another A.
Perhaps I should move to the MLC forum. I was so sure I'm piecing after she told me she wants to work on the M.
Of all the stories told here it seems that WAW don't want any physical closeness with the LBS. And even during reconciling sx seems to be an issue for most. But with my W that is no issue at all. She said she wants me around. She gets even upset if I leave her alone. Any comments about that? Is this a good sign or just cake eating?
And I enjoy it of course. But that makes it so difficult to let go. I don't know how to do that. How can I let go and let her figure things out, when we sleep in the same bed, touch each other, ML????????????????????
How can I emotionally detach? I cannot stop thinking about the A. And when I think I'm ok than something happens like the thing with the cell phone and everything breaks loose in me again.
I think this is the biggest problem I'm facing right now. If there wasn't the A which destroyed all my trust she could do whatever she wanted and I would be just fine with it.
And after writing all this I'm getting all emotional again.
