Gwyn, cat, thanks for the comments. You both got it right, it is major MLC, right out of the book.
Just for the ones unfamiliar w/my sitch, W and I separated for about 5 months after bomb (A). During this time she had several weekends w/Om. Major roller coaster ride. Moved back together last month b/c W 'wanted to work it out'. She said the biggest reasons for her wanting to try again were my changes.
If I read my latest post I guess I'm pretty whiny. I just had a few bad days, hardly any energy left. Since we moved back together everything seems to be so difficult. I feel constantly watched, 'is he going back to his old behaviors?' And I had to vent.
But there is a reason why I moved to piecing, I believe that's what we are doing, even w/MLC still full ahead.
There are a lot of positives and I just have to focus on them.
1. W knows she is confused, but wants ME to stay w/her at least for now.
2. W said she loves me AND Om, just for completely different reasons. I offer stability, am the father of D5, and she sees I changed.
3. Om is very ill. She knows she is not able to live w/him. She can't take care of the kids as a single mother AND of him. He has no money, and the future is very uncertain.
4. Contrary to most on this board W likes to ML to me. Actually quite often in the last 2 weeks. And it is not so 'distant' anymore.
5. I have the feeling W likes to have me around. Last night we talked again about the MC session. I told her if she really needs her space and wants to be single again I'm ready to separate again if that is what is necessary. She asked if that's what I want. I said NO, but if it is what she NEEDS I can live w/it. She asked if we would still be spending time together! I answered yes, but certainly a lot less. Then she said SHE is not going to move out. A little later she initiated ML again.
W has a lot of issues. I got a second chance to be w/her while she is working it out. I just need to find the strengh.
To everybody posting, I mentioned before I don't want W to know I'm on this BB, so I have a very limited time on here. I try to update so that others might be able to take something from it. I learned a lot from other post in particular from Frank D. And I will keep reading other posts. If I don't post to others I don't have the time or anything meaningful to say.
