Sorry to hear things have been so difficult for you lately. When my W was seeing the OM I couldn't handle being around, was just too stressful and depressing to me. I ended up moving out. This allowed me time to think, detach without all the heavy emotions weighing me down. Not saying that's what you should do just trying to tell you how I felt in a similar sitch.

One thing you may also want to consider is how you interact with W. Maybe try to think of her a two separate people. One is a nice person that you like to be around, friendly with, etc... The other is a nasty person, that when being mean, you don't spend time with, you don't talk to, etc...

"Our life is what our thoughts make it." Marcus Aurelius