I sent “Ex” a funny text message earlier that day and got no reply from her…
I am going to stop sending them altogether unless its kid related..
“Ex” picked up the kids last night
I got home early enough to make the kids supper before she came and picked them up.
My daughter ate quickly enough that she could go for a Bike Ride before “Mom” got there… I told her to stay close.
I had leftovers I wouldn’t eat so I set them aside for “Ex” to take with her.
“Ex” arrived right on time… I invited her in to while she waited for daughter… I gave her the Leftovers she thanked me.
We talked about getting the kids School supplies and some clothes then I asked her to sit down at the table to chat a bit and offered her some juice or supper if she wanted, she said no to both.
It was strange… we chatted about our days at work and that took up very little time… I was distant with her… feeling quite sad that I was sending my kids away despite… I could barely look at her…
I gave both my kids a big hug told them I loved them and sent them off… I went out to mow my lawn right after that watching “Ex” out of the corner of my eye pack them into her car while getting mower out.
“Ex” smiled and waved at me as she started her car and went to drive away… I kept my face “stoney” and gave the barest of nods back to her and watched her drive off.
I mowed my lawn only took maybe 30 mins, then decided to get some groceries just for something to do. That took only another 30-40 mins I was back home and alone…
Fortunately my friend who is accompanying me to the wedding was home and we were able to chat on the phone for a while.
I went to bed and slept pretty well until 5 in the morning when I woke to thoughts of all the places I took my Ex… all the vacations together… then the thoughts of all the stuff she has done with her new man started rolling around… and all I could think was If you had wanted to do that stuff… all you had to do was ask me and I would have done that with you to…
Tried to put the thoughts away and just go back to sleep… but I just laid there thinking until the alarm went off.
I was ok with-out the kids in the house in the morning my Pup kept me company… he always seems to know when I’m down… I think he is sad to when the Kids go so we comfort each other.
It hit me hard as soon as I pulled my truck out of the garage and headed to work…
Cried a bit… It has sadly become normal for me to cry once or twice a day…
The new lady I am supposed to travel up to see this Friday has gone “quiet” on me… I am feeling concerned that she is suddenly gone shy when things seemed to be going very well.
I have Kung Fu tonight to help fill a couple empty hours which is nice…
I just keep asking myself over and over “Why did you (Ex) have to come back and open these wounds” it would have been so much better if you had just stayed “gone”
