I invited her to stay for supper because I was cooking it for myself anyway
I didn’t expect her to stay… she didn’t
She no she had to get going so
So I leaned in past her and went to open the door for her to let her out without putting up any fuss that she should stay…
She got upset and angry and asked the kids to go to their rooms
And said this “I… I… don’t know what I did to deserve this hostility…”
I replied “Well take your shoes off and come up we can talk about it”
We went upstairs to the kitchen
Me: I’m not hostile I’m neutral…
She: This isn’t neutral… I’m sorry if you cant take daughter to when you get the Tattoo done…
Me: “ I don’t care about that… I’m going to get a bigger one for my back someday I will make sure its on one of MY days so that’s nothing to do with it.”
Me: Well I’m good and mad at you for many reasons… but I don’t want to yell at you about them
The calmly thoughtfully yet intensely I rehashed all the crap that she has put me through over the past few weeks and told her I know it is am much my fault for trusting you again… and about how sad for my kids I am that she is not spending enough time with them. About how there weren’t many moments this week she wasn’t far from my mind…
She got upset and replied… “This is worse then if you would just yell at me”
Me: “You don’t yell at people you love… I won’t yell at you…”
She: “Maybe yelling would help you get over this…
Me: “All your have done is replace me with another guy… you have not fixed anything that’s wrong with you”
Me: “I was told and I know that I need to let you learn your own lessons but I love you and I can’t stop wanting to help you…” Me: “ I know I won’t ever be over you… I see the crap that my kids are going through I have seen the crap that the kids of one of the divorced ladies at my shop is going through”
I told my “EX” about how I talked to the Mom of those kids about something I wrote about my “EX” and how that Mom broke down crying in my office about how she felt about her Ex husband 2 years gone by and she told me it never goes away.
I’m worried for you… do you think in 4 –5 months from now you are going to be Over me?”
She: “No… I have to go… “BF” is sitting at my house”
Me: “I’m just as worried for him and my kids what your doing is WRONG involving them in this”
Me: “ I know what your like… in 4-5 months your going to turn on him… and hurt him and hurt our kids”
She looked very shocked and hurt by this but the look of true belief in my words was in her eyes…
I didn’t care
My thoughts quickly jumped to the fact that she picked the kids up from her parents place and he was there…
I got mad… but kept my voice calm…
Me: “One question… have you already introduced him to your parents ?”
She: “Yes…”
Me: “Ok… you have a nice life”
She got upset and went out the door
The thing with her parents is a stupid hot button with me I should have just “As If’d” it but I am so angry at them for making it possible for her to abandon her kids and just how dam easily I am replaced.
Time to move on… I know now I feel like I don’t NEED someone in my life to complete me… that I am fine alone so I know I can let some one into my life and they will not be competing with my “Ex”
I finally feel free and not defeated… because I know I’m not the wrong one.
I talked to my daughter … I asked her if she was happy with the amount of time Mom had been spending with her and Son this summer…
She said… “No she wasn’t happy… she felt sad about it”
I told her then you know who you need to talk to about it… but Mom can’t know that it came from me…
She said I know dad… I will talk to mom
Not much more to add… I feel sad for my kids and the sad state of life that my “Ex” thinks they will be happy with.
I don’t think my words will have any effect, but I said my peace… calmly and that makes me feel better.
