Tough night... I found this on Gwyn’s thread so I bring it here to help raise my spirits
Quote:
Keep on showing your love. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. I believe that sums it up. "always hopes, always preserves." So to love and to show it, I believe this is what you need to practice.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next.
My shoulders are VERY sore from working out... I overdid it a bit which normally isn’t bad however this time it’s to much…
I slept Ok which is a blessing… It is really a good feeling to be tired and be able to sleep instead of laying there not sleeping with the mess of my life playing through my head…
Somehow it feels far worse this time around…
I am hurt by a perceived “universal” injustice…
I know the universe is not fair… but I do have some belief in Karma – What goes around comes around… so where’s my Karma
My “injustice”… how is it fair that my “EX” can find a new man that is decent and good (some of you out there would say otherwise… but… my gut tells me otherwise)
So quickly to replace me…
When it was me that fought so hard… for so long to be the “good-guy” to do the right thing to keep our marriage together…
It’s such a twisted perspective… I love her… so I am happy that she is happy… even as the situation causes me Misery and pain… to see her able to “love” another man in the way I had always hoped she would love me…
I have always held the belief that I am one of the “great” guys in this world… that there are only a few of us compared to most others…
Great Guys who love their wives, love their kids, give everything to their families they can, don’t fool around… guys who’s favorite place to be is home with their partners…
And the same is true for the Great Lady’s out there…
I truly believe I did nothing to deserve this… I accept responsibility for the dumb things I have done to make things worse…
But I can’t help feeling “punished” for some wrong I have committed…
And it is worse now… knowing the person I love… still exists… but that Lady is overwhelmed by the person that is there…
Part of me wants just to walk away from what was between us and not look back and the other part just sits there looking through that open empty door at the life he had…
I was able to let go last time… to free myself and be ok on my own… accept the loneliness and mourn what was because I thought my “WIFE” was dead… that she had nothing left in her that was for me…
Now I walk the “dark places” again… fighting my way back to the light…
So now I must let go again… and trust God to bring some happiness back into my life
