Hope is such a prick... I try so hard not to hold on to any hope and just live each day as it comes... but the hurt just keeps hurting...
Woke to that empty sad feeling... with the horrible questions...
Why does my "WIFE" need to find something in the arms of another man... why does it take this for her to realize she misses "us"
How long will this take… why me… what did I do to deserve this… sick self pity…
Its like a sore in your mouth you just can’t leave alone… even when you know its just making it worse.
Ok back to positives…
Very cool thing when we were still together… she would just come in w/o knocking which I encouraged to make her feel more at home… that hasn’t happened since the April split until last night… she just came on in
Always before my “WIFE” shows up I get “butterfly’s” in my stomach that go away when she shows up…
I asked her after exchanging hellos - when you come here… do you feel… funny inside your stomach…?
She looked at me “funny” and said - yes how did you know… I said I feel it to… you know what that is… its longing…
I can’t remember her reply… but it seemed to be agreement…
Alone in the dark I try not to dwell on her and him together (only Sat. Night and a bit on Sunday this week) and look forward to my own plans and possible dates this weekend
My gal “friend” – who is going through her own crap with her husband might be able to come in for a date tonight –
We both really like each other but both of us are so raw and wounded that we are just trying to get some comfort in companionship with each other.
I think today I have made another new “friend” if things continue to go well I will see if she would like to come out with me and my Sister and Bro-in-law on Sat. Night…
Then Golfing for me on Sunday with Sis and BiL…
My Daughter goes to camp on Sunday so My “WIFE” can’t stay long in Calgary with her BF… Still very bothered that she is introducing our kids to that situation so soon…
Monday night will be Kung Fu
Tuesday night… Son will be home will try to do the “family” supper night again
Will be hard week w/o my daughter home but hopefully I can make it a Fun “boys” week with my Guy.
