I have to say that using a word such as "disdain" towards your spouse really takes me aback. Disdain in my perception means that you look down on someone...you don't view them as your equal...much less good enough. Do you truly mean that you view her with disdain?
That's not a good thing for either you or your W. Oh BTW, I would have used that word myself in my description of how you come across in regards to your W at times too.
