Ruhh rohh, here it comes…. You used that line on CeMar once but he didn’t bite. You sure you haven’t done this “girly” thing before?
CeMar doesn't bite on anything, or haven't you noticed. No offense to you CeMar, I really like you.
I have to hand it to you, Cobra, your reponse darn near yanked me out of 'girly,' mode and I ALMOST went and got my 2 x 4. But then I decided a potential splinter from whomping you upside the head with it would do nothing for my lovely hands. And I might chip a nail <shudder>.
So I'll just say... you missed it. There are ways to go about what you are doing in a far kinder, gentler way.... if you lose the 'tude and such almighty LOW expectations of your wife. Sometimes the amazing disdain you hold for her takes my breath. I'm not sure if you intend that, but it sure is how it comes across.
Quote: One question I want to ask you is whether you think your would still be where you are now (in a balanced state without anger) were you still married to your exH? I can’t help but think the divorce gave you a great opening to step around those issues that kept your resentment alive.
I wouldn't say I'm balanced, but I AM without anger. Got lots and lots and lots of things to still figure out, my man, lots.
As for the anger and resentment and would I still be married question, let me put it this way. Were I still angry and resentful, I'd still be married, for I'd still be trying to fix, still be competing, still be trying to 'win.' I didn't make my decision in anger or resentment.
He told me, point blank, in bed one night that he could not give me what I wanted from him, and he was unwilling to change in order to attempt to do so. But, in so saying, he would never divorce me, either.
It was one of the most honest exchanges we ever had. And once I was willing to accept that, once I got over my grief and my anger and my resentment, I had to decide if what I wanted was negotiable. It wasn't. I either had to give up what I held as important, or get out.
