Well, that is a loaded question... and if you figure it out, you probably have the key to all of life's questions.
I guess I would first ask, what is suffering? Suffering is a perceived notion of pain, physical or emotional. What caused the pain... other, or my perception of a violation? Was the violation real or imagined? Was it intentional, or not?
All these things will flash through your mind instantaneously. Based upon previous experience, you will make conclusions before you are aware of them.
You are headed into philosophical waters, into topics on which I can give you my own opinions... but conclusive answers?
I think you are at least asking the right questions.
I think, at least for me.... the experience of true power begins when you realize that nothing anyone does is ever because of YOU. Everyone does what they do because of them. YOUR perception/POV will color your experience of the world, whether that is a happy experience or a suffering type experience.
The experiences I have had in my life are experiences. I decide how I view and continue to view those experiences. If I choose to remain angry over what happened to me, I will continue to suffer the experience... and the experience will continue to have power over me... because I GIVE it power... and this in turn makes me a more powerful martyr, makes me a more powerful, potential victim. For I am willing to suffer.
There are experiences that come along in life over which you have no control. Sh!t happens. True power comes into play when you realize... I may not be able to control THAT, but I do have complete dominion over how I choose to act and react. Suffering comes in when you give your choices away... for you have a perception of dominion by someone or something else... when you allow yourself to be dominated by another, it is a dominion play of your own, an attempt to regain something you perceive to have been taken from you... all to re-establish some notion of 'control' in your life.
So... if you get this. Tell me. When an HD partner says that their LD partner has all the power and control over the sex life... how is that a dominion (power) play on the part of the HD?
