I agree with you too (WTH is going today that I’m agreeing with so many women?) I didn’t mean to imply that I am not doing my part. I am trying to develop better alpha traits, but at the same time do what I can to lift this fog over my W.
I also see your interpretation to my daughter’s reaction, but in the past both W and I have been too reactive to this sort of thing and holding too much control over the kids. What D13 was really screaming about was her feeling of being controlled and powerless. So I felt it best to just let her vent. Putting too strong a boundary on her behavior would have just reinforced her feeling of being controlled.
Unfortunately our kids have learned from us too well and reflect a lot of the enmeshing behavior that both W and I have. So I see D13’s behavior as a test, but I also see her needing to get some interaction with me as a way of throwing her stress, anger, blame, whatever onto me. She truly is her mother. For me to jump in and place limits too quickly on her would have been a form of rescuing, I think. As it was, she processed her anger, and while she did scream and yell, she did stay within limits (not becoming physical or breaking anything) and seems to have grown just a teeny bit from the experience (or at least that’s how I’m justifying it, LOL!)
