Given how you were on the BOARDS when we first met... and given I was kind of 'in your face' about it... well... let's just say... if the sparks fly between you and your W like they did when you and I first communicated... well...
... there is a lot of trust rebuilding to do. If you understand the dynamics and male/female attraction, I think you could do this, with or without your wife's agreement. You'd just 'woo' her all over again... but at some point, in order for her to be a satisfying 'partner' within your R... not just a wife... she's got some learning to do.
But. She seems willing to read... and explore. You could continue to foster this curiosity within her through encouragement...
And btw... I'd spend more time, if I were you... learning about the dynamics of m/f attraction than I would analyzing your wife's FOO issues. Personally. She isn't going to see it, or the significance, really, until she starts experiencing some successes. imho.
