I think this is an interesting topic because I think the issue is relevant to both someone like you who was LD and competitive with men and also someone like me who was HD but strove to be independent of men otherwise. I also found BF's Alpha Male discussion helpful, not because I buy the concept "hook, line and sinker" but because it made me think about my own personal version of "sexism" or what I consider "manly" in a non-judgmental way. Thinking about what I consider to be "manly" naturally leads to considering what "I" consider to be "feminine".
For instance, when I tried to imagine my ideal male partner I came up with Hank. But I realized that Hank is simply my idealized concept of who I would want to be if I were a man. Hank is a high-functioning masculine version of me. If I was the best me possible I wouldn't need a Hank in my life because I would be Hank's twin sister with all the same "super-powers"-LOL- but "girlied" up.
I think if you try to directly make yourself more feminine, you might make the mistake of just trying to make yourself into a "type" that our culture accepts as more feminine. For instance, a Type 8 woman might try to make herself into more of a Type 2. However, if you try to imagine your ideal man and then you pretend like you work for Mattel and are trying to make his twin sister then you can figure out how to make yourself better and more feminine at the same time or just appreciate how great and feminine you already are. For instance, Hank is not thin but he is in great shape and he knows how to build beautiful bookshelves. Therefore, I realize that I want to be in great shape (which is a gender neutral ideal) and I want to be able to build beautiful bookshelves (which falls into the 'masculine' category in my personal version of sexism). Therefore, I am doing the right thing by going to the gym more often and I need to figure out how to either accept or transcend the fact that I consider woodworking to be a masculine activity.
One mystery writer I really enjoy has a female character who is always falling in love with the men who move into the cottage next door to her. The character's good friend frequently has thoughts along the line of "She keeps 'falling in love' with unsuitable men because she doesn't really like herself.". I think this is kind of what your recent revelation has been telling you. Corri doesn't need to be Cory or compete with Cory or date Cory. Corri at her best is free to date and/or mate all around the wheel of types. Anyone from Architect Alan to Poet Pete to Rocker Rick to Zookeeper Zeb.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
