I think a lot of us second generation 20th century feminists have some issues like this. For me, my "tomboyness" was more of the nerdy variety. I would do things like cut open dead frogs to see what was inside or climb as high as possible into trees to read my book and for xmas I always asked for things like chemistry sets. However, for me it wasn't suddenly finding boys to be "cute" that brought out my feminine side. My youngest sister was born when I was 10 and her birth pretty much coincided with a large decline in my mother's mental health. Luckiy, my sister who was 9 at the time and I both really liked having a "live doll" to play with. Therefore, my "masculine" side is a nerd and my "feminine" side is strongly maternal. In my early adolescent mind, a woman's business was babies (and this was obviously the most important business for a human to be in) and boys were just made to help you with the babies (though you could do it yourself if you got a good job with your nerdy side) and sex was just a "treat" that made the whole enterprise that much more fun. I had lots of sexual fantasies and lots of maternal plans but no "bridezilla" fantasies whatsoever. I think experiencing my parent's terrible marriage caused a sort of disconnect for me which made me want to be a lover and a mother but not a wife. My life plan at 20 actually was to get a good job as a scientist and then have about 10 kids with 10 different fathers if necessary.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
