You sound like you're healing, girlfriend. This is a wonderful post...
Quote: I will say... that **I** like me much better. I like that I smile and laugh so much more easily now. I like that I am more comfortable in my own skin. I like that I now have hope, where before, I had none.
Isn't it an odd notion to find a diamond in the rubble? I find this the most hopeful and exciting element about life after the fallout.
Quote: I was pretty much convinced when I D'ed that I was the ultimate loser in life. My self-esteem was near non-existant, I had progressively worse and worse anxiety attacks about being able to 'make it on my own,' make responsible choices, responsible decisions... and jesus... from my M... I was SOOOO convinced that I was completely sexually defective that... well... never thought, in a MILLION years, that I was actually quite normal.
Man, I understand. So... are you ready for some new reading material? They're not self help, but more along the lines of affirmation...
Moving On by Sarah Ban Breathnach. She discusses life after the big D. And her story is much more colorful and disturbing than yours or mine. It's a very hopeful read.
Single: The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled and Independent by Judy Ford. This is a quick read and fun too--she really draws terrific word pictures and the one that really helped me was redefining myself in terms of being *single* vs. *divorced*. Face it, we ARE single. She goes on to say that when we choose to see ourselves as single, there's a lot less stigma attached--particularly in the perception of those we meet. (Ahem, you know... potential dating partners?)
At the very least, I'm so glad you believe in yourself and your intuition. You're a remarkable lady, so don't doubt that for a second.
Back to work. I've been slacking long enough!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey 