I'm really happy to hear that you're doing so well. You deserve to be with someone who is "spoiling" you . I guess I'm not as psychic as NOP. It's just that you seemed to be rather defensive in some of your posts and I couldn't quite figure out why. Are you nervous about becoming sexual again? I think if I was divorced and dating I would be nervous about looking fat or unattractive so I'm sort of projecting here. It helps me to empathize with women who have been LD if I make it analogous to my issues with my appearance because I sense that the same sort of reactions from my H that would make me very resistant to going to the gym in a fused way would be similar to the ones that might make someone resistant to being more sexual. Of course, it would be great if I could apply this kind of empathy to my LDH but it gets confusing when I mix it up with the whole male/female dichotomy. I don't know how to be compassionately assertive about my sexual needs/wants without being more sexually assertive than anybody wants me to be.

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver