Here are my thoughts. I'm not sure expressing your anger as a tactic will change your sitch in any way. I don't think that if you say "I'm angry at you for F'ing up all our lives" that she will throw herself into your arms. No way, Jose! But,on the flip side I also, in the course of an R talk expressed my anger (in a calm, unthreatening manner) because I needed to let her know. She said she understood. Did it change anything? NO. I know you don't want to be seen as pleading, begging, pursuing etc. but what I did at another point was write a letter to my W outlining what I saw in our future, if she decided to work on the situation with me. I told her my plans for putting romance back in our lives, how I planned to make changes for e.g. "to become the listener you need me to be" etc. I told her that she was the absolute love of my life. I also stated I knew that at this moment she was not willing but I asked her to keep the letter and think about it again sometime in the future. I didn't state my anger but you could do that too. My wife still saves the bow from the letter! She said she cried and cried after reading it. I felt I needed to state my case so I would never have to say "If only I had ..." That is my suggestion for what it's worth. Did my W stop her affair? NO (but things have improved). So you decide. P.S. I'm going on vac for a week, I'll check in with you when I get back. Take care of yourself.
