I came to a realization that my wife having sex with me when she didn’t have desire was an actual expression of love. By demanding that she only act sexual when she had desire you do not acknowledge a huge positive compromise on her part. By ignoring the possitives in her actions you are quite possibly feeding her feelings of being unable to satisfy you sexually at all. When she is sexual it's not enough for you, not good enough and always wanting more. If this is how she feels then this can only further compounding you problem and gridlock. That being said there is a difference between pity sex conceded out of guilt and a compromise born out of love and its mostly in the attitude of the participants.
