As you can see we all come from vastly different perspectives here. The thing that seems to bind all of us together is that there are never any easy answers. I am troubled by your statement that you H doesn't want to deal with the emotional stuff at the end of a tiring day. If that is the case it is no wonder your libido is in the toilet. My question is whether he doesn't want to deal with it because he's tired or is he resentful because he feels like you are requiring hoop jumping in order for him to get sex? Maybe you could come up with some kind of compromise? What about scheduled sex once/week AND scheduled 15 minutes/day of talk time? Of course, these negotiations always sound easier to do than they are in practice but it is a thought to move things closer to the direction you both want.
